.:DoLpHiN’s BloG:.

Didn’t have coaching this morning but i’ve been like prisoner in my own home since my brother’s friends came over yesterday. Have been in my room all the time. I know i should be studying but i just can’t seem to get myself to concentrate on it… Sigh…

Will be going to help out at the candle shop tonight. Get some extra money while getting the chance to get out of the house. Can’t stay cooped up here anymore… Ooo… I can go eat my burger tonight… Haha… I always have my fastfood craving during Sundays… Don’t ask…

My parents left yesterday at bout 3 something in the afternoon. I couldn’t send them off cos i had to attend stupid Materials lecture. Got back my marks and i started crying… I only got 10 out of 45. Felt like dying. I was already crying cos my parents are going to be so far away and then the marks… Sigh… It contributes 5% to my finals!! Die die die… *Sniff* At least got to spend some time with my darling yesterday…

Here i am on the computer again… Haha… What to do lar… Damn stress already… Must go swimming tomorrow lar… Got coaching tomorrow morning… Wonder if anyone wants to go out… Haha…

Today was a pretty ok day. Got to see Alvin with formal clothes, he wasn’t wearing his tie yet though… Nevertheless, he looked good!! Had class and stuff… My two darlings, Wayz and MX were such angels!! They actually waited fot me to go for lunch!! I love you girls!! I’m glad we went for lunch… We had such a great time talking… Haven’t finished yet…

Brother’s friends coming over to stay tomorrow… Have to hide myself in the room… Haha… Or… I can go out!! *evil grin*

That’s the end of my first mid-term tests… Yay… Just had Physics just now and i definitely didn’t do well… At least, my first page should be ok… Got back my Math paper and i feel like slapping myself. I only got 77% due to my carelessness… I did sooooooooo many stupid mistakes… At least it’s a 77 and not lower… If not i’ll seriously slap myself ler…

I finally got the chance to meet my angel yesterday… It was GREAT!! I’m so glad i got to meet her. Gracie dear, our encounter yesterday made us even closer than before. How silly of us to be afraid that it would have been otherwise… I’m really really glad we got the chance to talk to each other even though it was for such a short time. I’m sure we’ll be able to meet up again soon if you’re free… All the best for the scholarship!! I really really hope you get it… I feel that you deserve it!! All the best ya?? *HUGZ*

Had swimming lessons just now. Just got a new student. He’s pretty nice… Had a great time playing with the polo ball just now. Don’t know why i can’t catch it properly when i’m in the water but it’s fine on land… Sigh… Must practise more… Alvin was trying to teach me but no luck… We must try again next week… Hehe…

Oh, my parents will be flying off tomorrow afternoon and they’ll be gone for 4 weeks!! Sigh… I’m so going to miss my mum and my dad… :’(

Finally got to meet up with MX and Wayz just now… Haha… I still get so hyper around them… Especially Wayz… Miss her!! Everyone’s so busy now… Sigh… Must meet up with old friends soon ler…

Adeline got me addicted to O.C!! I so can’t wait to get the 1st season DVD from Billie!! Hurry up, dear!! Haha…

Sooooo tired today!!! But i had a lot of fun last night. Went to my mum’s friend’s house with my parents for dinner and to see the new house. I love the house!! The interior is sooo professional!! I loveeeeee it!! Hehe… Anyway, dinner was GREAT too!! It was lovely!! I really admire my mum’s friend. She can really cook.

After dinner, i went up to see my friend’s room… Really really nice and she makes her own earrings!! The beaded ones… Really very impressive!! We also went to karaoke… Haha… It was so fun… Oh yeah, and she got me addicted to O.C but i don’t know if i’ll have the time to watch it…

Only got to leave the house at bout 12 something in the morning so it was bout 1 something before i could fall asleep. Woke up bout 6 hours later to go to uni… Argh… Couldn’t open my eyes… Haha…

Today, i wasn’t pissed… I see no point in getting pissed anymore… What’s the point of adding to my stress level?? Surprised with what happened?? Not at all… I knew that was going to happen but i was too tired to fight… Just let everything go. I knew he’ll do that and that’s him. I can’t change him. I wasn’t surprised when we bumped into each other too… Wasn’t surprised when i was just left like that… I’m pretty used to it but disappointment is still there… Loads of it… Even though i saw everything coming, it still had a lot of effect on me…

At least the quiz was good, thanks to my friends… Ooo… Tomorrow’s Tuesday!! Hope to see GRACIE!! I better go now… So tired and i haven’t done any work yet… Argh…

Yesterday was really fun. After my coaching in the morning, i sent my brother to the LRT station and then proceeded to Shelby’s place to pick her up, then to Mei Xian’s place… Had to wait for darling Mei Xian who had to wait for her mum for lunch and ended up not eating much… Anyway, i was the driver for the day… Hehe… We were then on the way to Mid-Valley to meet up with Chervonne dear, who just came back from NZ and who’s going back soon… and of Way Yee too… When we reached there, we met Cherv and waited to meet Wayz. Wayz was with Claudia so the four of us when jalan jalan… Mei Xian went to get her mic and i had to change a cd for my brother but was confused with which shop it was…

Tried calling my uncle’s place to get my brother but he wasn’t there yet. So embarresing lar… Couldn’t recognize my aunt’s voice on the phone… Thought i got the wrong number… Luckily she recognized my voice… Haha…

We then went to sit down in Burger King for a drink and to catch up on things. Half-way through, i got so tempted to nibble on something so Shelby and i bought Chicken Tenders… Haha… Both of us used to order the big serving of nuggets to share in Mc D’s last time. It was so fun… Miss those times… It was during dinner time during Tan’s tuition… We had lots of fun together then.

After that, got the phone call from my brother and went to change the cd for him. Then Shelby had her parents to pick her up from MV and i sent Cherv and MX back…

On the whole, i had a great time and i really enjoy our little gatherings like this… Missing all the good times we had and i hope there’ll be more to come soon!! Love you girls lots!! *HUGZ*

So very happy now… Just told my parents that i just got back together with my darling. She wasn’t angry and she didn’t say no… Yay!! She says that he’s good company so she’s not worried when we’re together… At least he’s not the very wild kind… I feel so much better now… It’s like the burden has lifted off my shoulders!! Yay!! Just feel like singing and jumping around now… Haha…

Never thought it would be this bad but yes, i have to admit that i’m a failure. I try so hard to do well but somehow, i just can’t do it. I study so hard but if you can’t understand the question, how to solve it?? Very very disappointing. I’m so disappointed with myself. As you can already guess, i did really badly for my Dynamics test. I thought i went in well prepared but i wasn’t. How to see a bright future for me if i’m doing so badly right now??

Is it just me or is my relationship really going bad?? Well, i feel that i think too much but i can’t help it if i’m like that, right?? I can hardly stand the jealousy anymore. It’s making me feel bitter again. So don’t know who i can go to. If i go out into the open, there’s 2 possibilities. The thing is resolved or it gets worse. Everything has it’s pros and cons. If you don’t try you’ll never know but if you try and it shatters your world, you’re a goner too. That’s life. It’s mean and unfair.

I can’t expect anyone to be there for me all the time but i would like it if some actually show some initiative to actually want to be there for me or even enjoys being with me. What’s the point of being together if we don’t enjoy each other’s company?? It’s great to be able to have someone to love and hold but what’s even better is if that someone loves you back in return. If that’s the case, one shouldn’t have any insecurities. What can you do with your insecurities when it comes??

My guilty conscience is getting worse. I just can’t tell her but i have to. ARGH!! What’s happening to my life?? It used to be so uncomplicated. I just keep on giving but i don’t know if i’m receiving. I’m just being whinny. Ugh…

Oh, my good friend, Chervonne’s back from NZ!! Can’t wait to catch up with her soon!! Must do so before she goes… My pet-brother’s going soon too and i haven’t met up with him yet… Uh oh… That’s BAD!! Haha…

Parents going to fly off on Thursday to USA. So lucky… Haha… They’ll be going for my brother’s graduation. I hope my brother comes home for a holiday after that!! I miss him soooo much!! My parents will be away for a month!! Wow… Hope they have FUN!!

Oh no!! Seriously… Materials was soooooooo bad. No matter how much i study, nothing went into my head. It was sooooo horrible. To make things worse, according to our lecturer, we’re the guinea pigs cos this is the first year of the 6-credit points subjects so we have much more to study. It was only a 4-credit point last time. Looks like what my lecturer said was true, we’ll have to study EXTRA HARD!!!

After Materials, which ended bout 7.20 pm, i went for dinner with Brian, Sue-Ann, Alvin, and Weng Soon… Too bad Billie couldn’t make it. Now i know… If want to make plans, must tell her way ahead of time. Hehe… I brought them to Showru… Hehe… The keropok lekor was soooo good!! Sue and i loved it… Hehe… I’m now offically broke… Only have bout RM3 left in my purse. Must collect this week’s allowance tomorrow… Anyway, i had such a great time. I can’t remember when was the last time i had dinner together with Alvin. It was years ago…

At least Materials is finally over. Must concentrate on Dynamics tomorrow… Oh yeah, i’m soooo happy tomorrow’s a holiday, even though i have to study… Must get up bright and early and start work… Haha… Oh yeah, my mum’s friends are coming over tomorrow night. Should be quite fun, i guess… I usually fit in quite well with my mum’s friends.

Have got my 2 new pieces to try on the piano too… Hehe… Well, guess that’s it for today… Must go reply Gracie’s e-mail!!

Had to stay back for Dynamics replacement class which was at 5-7 pm and i really regret going cos i really didn’t know what was going on due to the fact that i haven’t gone through my work. I’m really really depressed now… Feel like i’m seriously born without brains that function. Seriously exhausted now. Will definitely study later.

I have to admit that even i, myself don’t really know why i was so upset just now. Always felt jealous and intimidated easily. Don’t really think many people know that but that has always been a weakness of mine. I just really feel that life isn’t fair at all. Why is it that the person i really need isn’t there when i need that person?? I don’t like to be selfish but sometimes i just want some attention once in a while. Is it that tough to give me a little bit of time and attention?? I don’t want things to get anymore serious that it has to be but i also want it off my chest… What am i to do??

It’s only my first year and first semester and i’m already stressing out. I don’t know how i’m going to go through 4 years of this… MATERIALS!! ARGH!!

Haven’t been in the mood for anything this last few days… Probably too stressed out with MATERIALS!! Gosh, how i hate MATERIALS!! Yesterday was such a long day and it left me exhausted to the max… Had classes till 5 and had to stay back for the MEC meeting… Sigh… Only got home by 7 something… Today, i’ll have to stay back again for a replacement class!! ARGH!! I’ve never felt this stressed out for so long…